Get a Support Network

It’s about the support, encouragement, uplifting and all the positivity we need (or at least the much we can get) to forge ahead in spite of everything happening in our lives. It’s about building a support network and surrounding ourselves with people who will ALWAYS be there for us through it all. We may surround ourselves with people who  may or may not have had similar experience. They may also be people who just sympathize with us and wish to share our pain.


Let’s not forget the people in our lives who will not offer any form of sympathy. I have such people in my life and while I cannot do away with them, I do not include them in my support network. In my heart, I feel like most of the time they have judged you (in their minds) as deserving of what you are experiencing. Some are nice about it though! You can  perceive the judgment only from their silence and indifference.


I would say, do away with all the negativity. You don’t have to share  your life with someone who doesn’t feel your pain. A support network needs to be filled with love, hope and  encouragement.  And it all starts with our own frame of mind. Some issues need to be sorted out in the mind before one can be a support to someone else or even build your own support network. Check out some of the discoveries I made while building my support network.

● You are not alone:

The Bible does say in the book of 1 Corinthians 10:13 that “there hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that yea may be able to bear it”. The emphasis is on the first part of the verse. So you and I can be sure that what is happening on our lives is not peculiar to us. I always have a sense of  elation and a feeling of empathy when I read about the woman with the issue of blood for 12 years (Matt 9:20). Elation because despite the severity of her condition, she was healed! Empathy as a result of my own experience. Now that’s one example of the painful things women can encounter in their lifetime.
I am just saying that there are people who have been where you are and survived it. You are definitely going to survive!

● Forgive yourself:

I include this because sometimes that voice may begin to tell you of how you deserve what has ‘befallen’ you and how you brought this upon yourself! Okay, first and foremost, you can’t possibly believe that! And let’s say you did have a hand in the ‘how’ or ‘why’, well, nothing to it! It has happened and there is absolutely nothing to be gained by beating yourself up. You have to let go and let your heart heal. Secondly, it’s unhealthy for you to blame yourself for things that happen to you because you will be an easy prey to members of the accusers club (you know them don’t you). It’s

● Accept/love your life:

Yes, this is not so easy, but it is important that you not only accept your life, but that you also love it. It’s yours and it’s peculiar to you. Loving your life as it is makes it easier for you to look on the bright side and improve on it and even make the best of it.

● Free your heart and mind:

I have heard this phrase over and over again in the past. When I came to understand what it means to free your heart and mind and found myself having to do this, I discovered it’s a very deep process. I don’t believe anyone can by themselves rid their hearts and minds of all the hate, resentment and lack of forgiveness of a lifetime. It takes the help of the Holy Spirit to come to that ‘state’ where you can say, ‘I hold no grudge’. It is possible and we should strive to get there. A number of Bible verses talk about doing away with these things: Ephesians 4:31, Col 3:8, Titus 3:3, 1 Pet 2:1.  Malice, anger, wrath, evil speaking, to mention a few,  are habits that we can not afford to associate ourselves  with.

● Believe/trust God:

Jer. 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil to bring you to an expected end. We should learn to believe and trust God absolutely with no reservations. He has said He has peaceful thoughts towards us and I choose to hold on to His word. Apostle Paul reaffirms this in Romans 8:28 when he says that all things work together for good for them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. So we can sit back and relax knowing in our hearts that our Lord is in absolute control of the situation.
I am not saying it can’t get stormy or rocky. Oh, it definitely will, but you can hold your peace knowing  that the Lord has it covered. Check out Jesus’ reaction when the storm rocked the sea and the boat they were in. He was asleep! Psalm 34:19 says it all. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Gbam!

● Be optimistic:

I like to stress this point because it has to do with the state of mind. And what goes on in your mind is entirely up to you. If you have to train yourself to think happy thoughts, please do, so that when the sad and depressing thoughts come,  you can win the struggle. In the past, I sometimes find myself thinking ‘what if my greatest fear comes true’? It took a while but I eventually learnt to shake off those thoughts and focus on the good things I had going for me. Now pessimistic thoughts do not come as often or at all because they don’t stand a chance in my mind.

● Don’t allow yourself to be swayed and distracted:

I focus on the very important things in life because I find that it’s easy to get distracted. It’s a busy world we live in, and we can get ourselves entwined in a lot of things we do not need to get involved in. The are some relationships we should not be involved in. They are poisonous to our lives and our growth. There are habits we should do away with that may be eating up our precious time and other resources. In essence, we need to define our priorities.

● No pity party

It is that simple. No pity party allowed. No! Not here, not now, not ever! Ask Job and his friends what came out of their pity party.

So these are points I try to remember. Sometimes I go off track. That’s okay because no one expect me to get it right all the time. The most important thing is to accept support and be ready to give support at all times.  I cannot stress the need for this enough. I think the world would ultimately be a better place if we all have a support system. Or what do you say?


If you are female and you or anyone you know needs help and support with your health, I am happy to help in anyway I can. Please feel free to contact me.

About Support Network

Mobolaji Peace

Mobolaji Peace Olagbemiro is a Civil Engineer with bachelor's and master's degrees. She is writer and editor on her blog . She is a wife and mother and loves crocheting, reading, cooking and supports her husband at his football academy (YAFA) in Abuja, Nigeria.